LMAOOOOOOOOO the screaming in the beginning
"oh jesus christ"
"please don’t give me that look"
"please don’t fly"
That owl is 30000000% done
every time this video graces me with its presence i feel obliged to reblog it
I would have loved to see his reaction if the owl had flown right back in the window.
The owl is so menacing omgreblog forever because owls are both the best thing ever and beyond terrifying.
Hahahahaha!! I want 50 of them.
And it didn’t even give him a letter to Hogwarts :(
knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit
wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad
That was deep
philosophy is wondering if that means ketchup is a smoothie
That was deeper.
common sense is knowing that ketchup isn’t a damn smoothie you nasty
What the fuck is wrong with this website
humans are so cute, when we say goodbye we put our arms around each other and to show we love someone we bring them flowers. we say hello by holding each other’s hand, and sometimes tiny little dewdrops form in our eyes. for pleasure we listen to arrangements of sounds, press our lips together, smoke dried leaves, get drunk off of old fruit. we’re all just little animals, falling in love and having breakfast beneath billions of stars :~)
#Wall decals about bible verses will class up any kitchen #You should come to my Thirty-One party
I can’t stop. There are too many:
#I’m the best mom on this field trip and everyone knows it #Have you read Eat, Pray, Love? #Let’s get lattes after Zumba! #Gluten causes Autism #I will have him pulled out of your class #Oh shoot, I forgot I volunteered to bring brownies to faith group tonight #We don’t let him watch more than one hour of TV a day #Stick figure family window sticker #(whispers behind hand) you’ve got to read 50 Shades of Grey
Forgive me. I am a mother, and I walk among these women every day. I have adopted their ways as a form of camouflage.
ITS BACK AND IT GOT BETTER
I work in a call center and I can HEAR this haircut over the phone